Feb 2, 2012

I don't know how I feel

I did get those three days of spankings. It wasn't too bad. He was mostly just trying to make a point. Which actually...I LOVE!

I got spanked twice more that week. I got maintenance on Sunday as usual. Boy did that one smart. It was harder than I had had in a while. Then I got one or two more spankings for sassiness Sunday and Monday.

Then he was leaving for a few days for work and decided I needed another maintenance before he left.
I got a quick spanking, a kiss, an I love you, be good...and he left. I then went back to sleep.

He's not back yet and needless to say...I am missing him so very much. I told him today that I miss my spankings. I miss his authority. I just miss him.

It's not that I like being spanked for punishment, but I like it when he holds me accountable. Honestly, I don't think he does it enough and wish he would do it more.

We've had a talk recently about how he throws the phrases 'I'm going to spank you' or ' You need a spanking' around very loosely and often kidding. It's gotten so bad that half the time I DON'T know when he's really kidding and when he's not. Honestly, that's a lot what led to my smart mouth that got me the 3-day spanking sentence.

He said he understood and apologized. Hopefully he'll use the words sparingly and only when he means it. I also told him how when I do things, a lot of times he just says 'I can't wait for maintenance day'. So I asked him why he had to wait until then? Why not just punish me right when I did whatever?

I don't think he really had an answer for that, but I think he understood my frustration. I mean I feel like when we get to maintenance day, it's just that, the regular maintenance. He never is really addressing all those things from the week.

Now, like 99.995% of the time, I am only in trouble for sassiness and attitude. I do chores if he ever gives me any. But, if it's sassiness he's threatening to punish for, then go ahead and do it! Why wait?

Anyhow, I think he is understanding my concerns. That is a lot why I got all those subsequent spankings and the extra maintenance. (Honestly, one of the times I got spanked, it was because Stormy possessed me and I turned and walked out while he was talking to me. Not good. I was told to stop, that I knew better. Yes, I did. I was being bratty. Too big for britches I guess.)

Anyway, I hope he talks less and acts more!

(but I am a pretty good girl!!!)

Ok, so maybe I really do know how I feel.