Oct 28, 2011

Riddle Me This...

Who gets spanked on their birthday? (no, I won't say when it was)

Oh yeh, that would be me.

I had said, no parties to my sister. I don't care what the kids want. I had said no dinner to my husband.

'I don't want to go anywhere. I just don't feel like it.'

Now he told me that was ok, that if I wanted to stay in we could. However, at the end of the day, I finally relented. When he got home, her told me to bend over the bed. He took the balsa wood paddle and spanked me tears.

'You have been moody and winey and you need a release.'

We ended up having a nice dinner. I felt better for about 3 hours and then it went down hill. I had had system issues that day. I worked from home but couldn't log in. I told him about it asking what I should do if it was still that way the next day. He got out of bed and started diagnosing the issue. I said it could wait, but he was up now. He was mad and frustrated and ended up hurting me emotionally because I felt blamed for the system not working. I was crying hard. He didn't comfort me at all. I went to bed about 1 having given up, I was too tired. He stayed up and then determined we needed a new modem. In the morning he went and got one. I went to work at my sister's in the meantime. When I got home, it was all hooked up and I could be on the system with no issues.

He pretty much apologized or asked how I was feeling all day. He felt really bad for how he made me feel. So we were determing where we should hang artwork in the house tonight and I started getting fussy.

'Come on lets give you a few swats.'

Ok...wait, what? Not the big paddle!! Noooooo! OMG I hate that thing. He never uses that unless it's punishment. I thought I was going to be sick. I think he realized and didn't keep going. We went right back to deciding on the artwork and I was fine.

I'm thinking I may be doomed to being spanked daily one way or another for a while. *sigh* Who knows.

I just want to feel relaxed and happy. I'm doing ok tonight. I hope it lasts.

But honestly...who gets spanked on their birthday and it's not birthday spanks???

Oct 24, 2011

Who The Heck Are You???

Friday night...

I'm lying on the couch. We are watching tv. Dutch is working.

'K!' 

My eyes pop open.

'Do you need to go to bed?'

"No"

We go back to our respective activities. My eyes are still closing, but it was because they were hurting so badly!

'K!'

My eyes pop open.

'Cmon, let's put you in bed.'

"I'm not tired."

'You're falling asleep. C'mon let's go.'

"I don't want to go to bed."

'I don't care. Tell your friend goodnight. NOW!' (I was texting)

So I poutingly told her I had to go, that I was being put to bed. She said 'it's early!' I said I know. He's being a tool! I pouted cleaning up my area, taking my sweet time. Got my pills, plugged my phone in as slow as I could.

'K!  Let's go Now!'

So I slowly and not in a direct line made my way to the stairs.   (WHAT A BRAT!)

'Upstairs Now!'

I stomped all the way up the stairs. Went to the bed and stood their and then slowly got in. (my head is saying WHO ARE YOU? STOP ACTING LIKE THIS!)

'LAY DOWN!'

So I did. In a huff. He tucked me in, turned out the lights, left the room and I went to sleep.

I soooooo deserved a spanking for that, but he didn't spank me. He was simply too tired.

Saturday morning...

We wake up, but are still lying there. I think we both woke up in relatively good moods in our groggy states. I woke up a bit quicker and started playing with his face. I was having fun. I pinched his nose and he said 'no'. He didn't like that. Well for some reason it rubbed me the wrong way and I started to feel the attitude coming back. I got up. Then I plopped back down on the bed, lying halfway on and halfway off. He opens his eyes.

'Looks like you're ready for a spanking.'

"No I'm not."

'That's a good spanking position.' (note, he is in a good mood and is kidding with me, but I just had to push)

"Like you'd do anything."

'I'd spank you.'

"Yeh, ok."

So he starts to get up and I run across the room while he is coming at me fast.

"Noooo, leave me alone, I'm busy!" (I was opening the blinds)

He comes up and smacks me hard on both cheeks. (I think he's still trying to play with me)

I'm mad. "You're not supposed to spank me while I'm standing up!!" (for medical reasons)

He was done with me now.

'Ok then...' as he turns me around and starts to push me toward the bed. I promptly resist. He pushes. I grab hold of the columns that separate the room.

"I don't want a spanking!"

'I don't care, I've had enough. Let go!'

He finally gets me off the columns and gets me to the bed.

'Bend over'  Which I don't. So he pushes me down. ( I KNOW, I KNOW, I NEVER ACT LIKE THIS! )

I struggle to get up, he holds me down with little effort. He tries to take my pj pants down, but they are tied so he reaches for the tie. I give him no help and push down so he can't. (what the heck is wrong with me?)
He gets it untied and I grab it so he can't pull them down.

'You had better let go right now!' he sorta growled. I finally realized I was doomed.

He got them down and starting smacking my bottom as hard and fast as he could.

'You are being rude and disrespectful to me. I am not going to allow that!'

Man does his hand hurt when he is going full out.

"Okaayyyy. I'm sorry. Please stop. I'll be good!"

He kept spanking and spanking. Finally he stopped. I was huffing and puffing.

'We are not going to start the weekend out like this with this attitude. Do you understand me?'

"Yes sir"

'Ok, you can pull your pants back up. Come here.'

So I did and he held me and I knew I was forgiven. The rest of the day I was fine. I was glad he took charge and didn't let me get away with anymore.

Sunday late afternoon...

Sunday is maintenance day. (no, we aren't really going to call it bacon...well, maybe if we are out somewhere and looking for a code word...LOL)

"Are you still going to spank me?"

'Yes, not right now, but yes. Do you want it right now?'

"I don't know"

'Come on. Let's get it over with.' He starts to get up to go upstairs.

"Can't we just down here?"

'No, I want to go upstairs.'   Wisely I followed this time without fighting.

'You're just going to bend over the bed' (normally I'm over his knees on the bed...I like that better  :(  )

He used the balsa wood paddle that I hate. It wasn't too bad though.

However, the rest of the day, I was good, but unsettled internally. This gets back to my last post about not enough. Well shoot. I felt like I needed another spanking.

Later that night...

"Dutchy, I'm going to bed."

'You want me to tuck you in?'

"Yeh, I guess."

'What's wrong?'  He's following me out of the office to the bedroom.

"I just think I...I don't feel right"

'Do you need another spanking?'

"I don't know...maybe. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I feel guilty about spending too much money recently and putting us in a bad spot." He knew I was struggling with that all day.

'That's not your fault and we are fine. I will check into things. I just haven't had time. You've done nothing wrong."  I had called the credit card company earlier that day to check on the balance. He hates when I do. I always freak.

"I still feel guilty."

'Well, I can set your butt on fire and then tuck you in.'   He is smirking as he gets up to get the same paddle.

"Why do you have to say it like that?!?"

'Ok, bend over.'  He's in his playful, I'm going to like whacking your butt mood. So he starts to spank me and by about the 15th swat I break down. I'm quietly crying. He spanks a bit more. Stops. Pull me up to him to hold me.

"Thank you sir for spanking me"

'You're welcome sweetie. Do you feel better?'

"Yes, I think so. I don't know what is wrong with me. Do you think I'm crazy for asking for a spanking?"

'No. I think it's just a very emotional time right now. A lot has been going on. I haven't been able to really give you the attention you need and you've been great about it.'

I mentioned about the 2 maintenance days a week scenario. It's still in discussion.

So he tucked me in and I couldn't sleep. I needed him there. When I went to him, he was coming up anyway. After he got in bed, I went right to sleep. I was still a little bit depressed the next day, but then guess what? I started my cycle. Sooooo, I am now blaming hormones for my craziness.

I deserved every spanking I got and probably about  5 more I didn't get but should have. I don't know. Stupid hormones. That's what Dutch thinks it was too. Well that and all the other stuff going on. I mean it's fine, we're fine, but I think the hormones just heightened the emotions from the other stuff.

*sigh* I have been so good. I was such a brat. But I've paid for it I think. All is well.

My husband takes good care of me (even though he thinks he doesn't). I'm one of the lucky ones.

Oct 19, 2011

Should there be more bacon?

Soooo I hate asking for a spanking. But sometimes I just feel like I need one even when he doesn't. Now he will always comply, but who wants to have to ask? You just want your HOH to always know when you need and want one even if you don't want one or don't think you want one. Well, you know what I mean.

I think I'm too good. I try not to argue with him on things. He doesn't ask a lot of me, but what he does ask, I always try to get done. I tell him everything. I let him be my rock. I don't turn him down for intimate relations. I do my best to be respectful. Since I do that, he isn't on me all the time, doesn't feel the need to punish me hardly ever, gives me compliments on things I do.

So, I don't get spanked a lot. You all know I get maintenance. Well, a couple of times he has mentioned having maintenance twice a week. I haven't really shown signs of wanting this. I know I shouldn't have a choice and I have eluded to that. However, he kind of gives me a choice. He always wants to know my thoughts and since we agree that this is a mutual arrangement where I have stated I want him in charge, he will always consider my feelings on things.

Sooooo, I don't know. Maintenance twice a week? That sounds crazy to me because lots of times I say I don't want the one we have now some weeks. (which he promptly tells me he doesn't care and he'll just get out the big paddle if I don't comply). I pretty much have learned to get over his knees and take it gracefully. If I do he is more lenient. Otherwise, he will attempt to make a point. No thank you!

I don't know. Lots of times I feel like I'm so good that I end up not getting what I need. Then I get afraid of the thought of more. I don't want to brat to get it though. I want to obey him, respect him and make him proud of me.

I ask him occasionally if he likes DD. If he thinks it's helped. He agrees that it's brought us closer. Plus he loves spanking me.  He doesn't like to punish but knows maintenance keeps me centered.

Soooo, yeah. I just don't know. I hate having to tell him I feel like I need to spend some time over his knees, but lately, I have felt that way and have admitted that to him twice. He complies. It's still really hard to ask.

Maintenance...twice a week or no? Just keep asking for it randomly when I need it or no? Brat or no?

So the word maintenance. I told him Stormy mentioned that she doesn't like that word because she is not a truck that needs work. So I asked him what he thought about that. So he started thinking about it and decided that maybe it did sound like that. He then decided to look up synonyms for the word in the dictionary. Here are some of them:
Subsistence
Upkeep
Sustenance
Keeping
Repair
Retainment
Bacon

So, we have now decided to call it bacon. Sunday...'are you ready to go upstairs and get your bacon'?

This could be really bad! I told you guys we need serious help!

I love my crazy husband!

Oct 4, 2011

He's Gone!

I know, I'm a big baby. Sue me!

He had to go out of town for 4 days. I can't make it to Fri. I just can't. I want him here. I need him here.

I know I'm being selfish. He has a job to do. Other people have husbands gone all the time.

I don't care. I want him here.

It's his fault! He's so dang wonderful. I'm addicted to my husband!

You know, I have always loved my husband. We have had our ups and downs. We didn't have any real marital issues before starting DD. However, DD has somehow brought us sooooo much closer together. Almost to a fault. I just can't be without him anymore. I don't care if he wanted me over his knee the whole time, I just want him here.

*Sigh* Ok, I'll quit complaining...I guess. It's just that I was doing fine this morning until he sent me an email entitled 'My sweet baby'. He just wanted to make sure I had his itinerary in case anything happened I would know where he was last. *Sigh* Isn't that just sooooo sweet! What is wrong with me?!?

I need to start up hobbies again or something. I'm too focused on him all the time. We have been soo good together lately.

I haven't been punished in weeks. I've been a very good girl. Ok, so I still get sassy sometimes and moody, but I'm not being bad. I pretty much obey. I try to be respectful. I catch myself a lot quicker when I'm not or he says something and apologize and cut it out right away.

I still get maintenance though. If I didn't I think I would fall apart. It keeps me centered. Last weekend he was sick, so no maintenance. I didn't complain. I didn't act out. I did everything I was supposed to and more. He thanked me twice last week for being so good. So I got maintenance on Sunday as usual, but not with the balsa wood paddle I hate. He only spanked me with his hand. Now don't get me wrong, his hand HURTS. I swear it's like a built-in paddle. Also, using his hand, he's able to mold to my sit spots better (oh goody...not). He also went for my thighs this time which he normally doesn't. For some reason though, since it was all with his hand, over his knees and he spanked everywhere...I felt so much more submissive and close to him right then. Crap...like I need to feel any closer! He told me later when we were out that I'm always a lot more submissive right after a spanking. Well I should hope so! That's kinda the point isn't it?

He loves it. I love it. He loves me. I love him. We are sick sad sappy people who need to get a life!

Is it Friday Yet?